Customer Care in 2020
Operator : 'Thank you for calling Shanti Sagar Fast Food. May I have your…'
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's aah…, hold on…… 889861356102049998-45-54610′
Operator : 'OK… you're… Mr Singh and you're calling from 1715B, 18th Cross Malleswaram. Your home number is 23440946, your office 56452302 and your mobile is 9823426625. You are now calling from your mobile now, Sir?'
Customer: 'How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza….'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?… What do you recommend then?'
Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 999.99′
Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 39,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter…'
Customer: ' What!'
Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,…registration number KA 04 X 1123…'
Customer: ' ????'
Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing… by the way… aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic……. '
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1997 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?'
Customer: [Faints]
Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'
Operator : 'Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?'
Customer: 'It's aah…, hold on…… 889861356102049998-45-54610′
Operator : 'OK… you're… Mr Singh and you're calling from 1715B, 18th Cross Malleswaram. Your home number is 23440946, your office 56452302 and your mobile is 9823426625. You are now calling from your mobile now, Sir?'
Customer: 'How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'
Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza….'
Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'
Customer: 'How come?'
Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'
Customer: 'What?… What do you recommend then?'
Operator : 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'
Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'
Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'
Customer: 'OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'
Operator : 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 999.99′
Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'
Operator : 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 39,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'
Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'
Operator : 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'
Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'
Operator : 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter…'
Customer: ' What!'
Operator : 'According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,…registration number KA 04 X 1123…'
Customer: ' ????'
Operator : 'Is there anything else Sir?'
Customer: 'Nothing… by the way… aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'
Operator : 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic……. '
Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^
Operator : 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1997 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?'
Customer: [Faints]
Comments
Post a Comment