[ non-tech] Change

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I have seen a good amount of change. I've seen change for the sake of it. I've seen change out of necessity but unwillingness. I think I've seen all the ways change can be.
So I wonder when I'm going to have so much change what kind it is. Is it opportunistic? Is it out of necessity and desperation or is it enforced? Would you call necessity a desperation? Would you call frustration just an expression of inability? What is it?
Life is going to change in big way. Maybe I've some unfinished business that I might end up taking care of. Or I might make an even bigger mess of things than what it already is. A new city. Goodbye to the present one. Is it going to be difficult? I don't know. I was scared of this change when I decided to do this. So I think everything will be alright. Or I keep telling myself just not to panic. And boy, I know I can panic. I know what it is being panicked. Its like a deer caught in the headlights. Except as a deer you can't decide what to do. In fact you can't even come to think of the many things that you can do - the many solutions to a problem.
So I'm kind of going in blind. Then what are my options? Hmmm, after thinking rigorously for a few minutes I had the answer - hang on!!! Yeah. Hang on and stay stuck! Don't give up. Work hard. Think about the bigger picture. Don't be scared.
I really wanna write a book about all the positive things I have come across. And all the beautiful things that I miss. And the many people who are no more. And the many others in whose universe I don't exist! There are many more in whose universe I'm soon going to cease to exist. Just by not being around. And its sad. Those are the fewer lives I get to touch.
life goes on

Sent from my Windows Phone

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