Tuesday, August 7, 2012

[non-tech] Wow!

*** Well, not for the first time but I missed the point I wanted to say in this post. So I'm just putting it up here. I really regret missing this opportunity to work with the amazing guys.
I feel bad because the people did expect something from me and I have failed them. I have also failed myself. Well, even though I was a failure, it was touching to be contacted and asked about it. Well, getting back to rebuilding now. First program to go under axe is Kernel Programming... Sucks! But every failure has it's price and I have never hesitated from the payment if the price was right. Next will be my laptop hours. And after that maybe my Sundays!!! (Well if I get to that point the world may end since my current organization is eating my Saturdays as it is. ) I'm hoping to get to that point!!!

I must not be feeling like wow right now. After such a fiasco, I should be sitting in a dark corner and crying my heart out. Actually I almost cried, but when the fault is yours the tears are hard to come. So after spending 4 days in misery over a lost opportunity and a possible pr nightmare, my body rebounded and I'm feeling better now.
The emotional shock has worn off completely and the misery is like small clouds left on the horizon after heavy rains.
I am looking at the failure now. I'm trying to find reasons why I have failed. I'm looking inside out and through the events. And now I can see clearly what caused it.
Well the details notwithstanding, I'll only say one thing. This failure has hurt me more than what I've felt when I missed 1st class in my engineering 3rd yr by 1 mark - please note its one mark, not 1 percent or 0.1 percent.
The main reason was I was ill prepared and overconfident.
There is no forgiving this. So I'm going to take some harsh corrective measures. I'm going to start working on the chinks in the armor. I'm going to dig so deep that I'll know every nook and cranny. I'm a fighter and I'm going to go out and fight this battle again. And I'm going to win.
I have taught myself to be a survivor and the current situation has made me weak. There is no place for a weak guy in this world. So I'm going to be stronger and its going to be difficult. It'll be more efforts than I spent on toning up my body. But I think I can do it. I know I can do it.
Now why I'm putting this on here is because there won't be anything here till I have achieved what I am out to do. Let this last post be the stone that has me writing my name on it!!!

Sent from my Windows Phone

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